Monday, January 28, 2013

Slaying Dragons With the Heart - The Story of Richie Weker


          This week the Atlanta Falcons faced off against the San Francisco 49ers in the NFC Championship game.  While it was an enthralling football game by any account, the game itself was overshadowed by the inspirational story of 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick aka Richie Weker.  Richie stumbled onto the field drunk off of “God knows how many drinks,” and struggled to get going as a wide receiver.  He seemed out of it, his motor skill akin to those of a newly born and eyes as red as the devil’s dick.  In Richie’s words, “I go to the party and then… BOOM! It’s the next day.”  Saturday was that next day.  Alex Smith aka David Berk started the day as QB of the 49ers and after a less than stellar start, Richie took over.  It was at that moment that Richie realized the importance of the game and put his heart and soul into pushing his team to victory.  He completed 30 of 49 passes for 640 yards and six touchdowns, finishing the game with a 127.8 passer rating.  That’s the stuff that miracles are made of, kids.

            While Richie was the main story, there were some other key players in the game as well.  Sam Payette had his best game of the season on both sides of the ball, catching eight of Chuck’s passes for 305 yards and two touchdowns, deflecting three passes on defense and sacking Richie three times.  One of the biggest game changers was subbing Payette out of defense on the 49ers game-winning drive, which severely cut into the Falcons’ momentum.  When asked about his incredible performance, Payette replied, “It’s a contract year.  Call my number.” 

            Chuck had a good day through the air, completing 28/48 for 550 and three TD’s, but the Falcons’ offense often stalled in the red zone, scoring a points on 20% of drives that went within the 49ers’ 20-yard line.  He also turned the ball over three times, one of which was a beautiful interception caught by PS David Katz in which Katz tap-danced both feet in on the sideline in order to stay in bounds. 

            Another great story from the game was Zach Coleman who was Richie’s favorite target, snagging a frat football record 17 catches for 360 yards and four TD’s. 

             One of the lowlights of the game was Brandon Baron leaving the game with after being shut down by PS David Katz aka Revis Island on offense.  “I’m not having any fun,” complained Baron, so he left to play soccer.  No word has been released yet on the status of his inflamed vagina. 

            The receiving game was led by much of the same people as the last game.  Pfeff had 9 catches for 230 yards and one TD, Greenwald had six catches for 160 yards and added three more pass deflections on defense, Berk rebounded from being benched at QB early by recording seven catches for 185 yards, and newcomer Robbie had six cathches for 110 yards and one TD.  Meister Island continued his trend of dropped balls (three total), but came to the realization that he catches about 50% of the balls thrown to him, and thus he should be thrown to more often.  To his credit though, Meister did score two touchdowns and recorded eight more sacks on defense.

            Overall it was a great game and we should look forward to another thrilling matchup next week at the turf. 

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