This week the Atlanta Falcons faced off against the San
Francisco 49ers in the NFC Championship game. While it was an enthralling football game by any account,
the game itself was overshadowed by the inspirational story of 49ers QB Colin
Kaepernick aka Richie Weker. Richie
stumbled onto the field drunk off of “God knows how many drinks,” and struggled
to get going as a wide receiver.
He seemed out of it, his motor skill akin to those of a newly born and
eyes as red as the devil’s dick.
In Richie’s words, “I go to the party and then… BOOM! It’s the next
day.” Saturday was that next
day. Alex Smith aka David Berk
started the day as QB of the 49ers and after a less than stellar start, Richie
took over. It was at that moment
that Richie realized the importance of the game and put his heart and soul into
pushing his team to victory. He
completed 30 of 49 passes for 640 yards and six touchdowns, finishing the game
with a 127.8 passer rating. That’s
the stuff that miracles are made of, kids.
While
Richie was the main story, there were some other key players in the game as
well. Sam Payette had his best
game of the season on both sides of the ball, catching eight of Chuck’s passes for
305 yards and two touchdowns, deflecting three passes on defense and sacking
Richie three times. One of the
biggest game changers was subbing Payette out of defense on the 49ers
game-winning drive, which severely cut into the Falcons’ momentum. When asked about his incredible
performance, Payette replied, “It’s a contract year. Call my number.”
Chuck
had a good day through the air, completing 28/48 for 550 and three TD’s, but
the Falcons’ offense often stalled in the red zone, scoring a points on 20% of
drives that went within the 49ers’ 20-yard line. He also turned the ball over three times, one of which was a
beautiful interception caught by PS David Katz in which Katz tap-danced
both feet in on the sideline in order to stay in bounds.
Another
great story from the game was Zach Coleman who was Richie’s favorite target,
snagging a frat football record 17 catches for 360 yards and four TD’s.
One of the lowlights of the game was
Brandon Baron leaving the game with after being shut down by PS David
Katz aka Revis Island on offense. “I’m not having
any fun,” complained Baron, so he left to play soccer. No word has been released yet on the
status of his inflamed vagina.
The
receiving game was led by much of the same people as the last game. Pfeff had 9 catches for 230 yards and
one TD, Greenwald had six catches for 160 yards and added three more pass deflections
on defense, Berk rebounded from being benched at QB early by recording seven catches for 185 yards, and newcomer Robbie had six cathches for 110 yards and one TD. Meister Island continued his trend of
dropped balls (three total), but came to the realization that he catches about 50%
of the balls thrown to him, and thus he should be thrown to more often. To his credit though, Meister did score two touchdowns and recorded eight more sacks on defense.
Overall
it was a great game and we should look forward to another thrilling matchup
next week at the turf.
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